Love?

So, I have no idea whether or not I believe in love. One one hand, i think i might strongly believe in it, but am incredibly afraid of it. And on the other hand, I think it might be a joke and a made up emotion that people crave for their entire life.

So, when my dad was murdered I pretty much decided that the world was too cruel of a plac for love to exist in, it was just a cold, heartless place crawling with immortal hatred. Well then I meet this boy, and we date for a year and a half, and I thought I "loved" him, I was so happy.
Well after a year a half of dating, he breaks up with me a week after the two of us watch my grandpa die of cancer. I was crushed, depressed, just plain sad.
And looking back, I think, maybe I didn't "love" him.. maybe it was just the high school romance that every melodramatic teen interprets their feelings for the opposite sex as? But I also still feel strong emotion for this boy, is that love? Or is it because he was in my life for so long and Im having a hard time moving on??

I don't want to be the "scrooge of love"..so I need some opinions.. Is this emotion real, and if it is, is it normal to be afraid of it? I mean I can't even tell my family that I love them, and I don't think that's normal?

ugh.